Emergency Room: Supporting Someone with Autism
Author: Dr. Vrolijk | Updated: August 23, 2025 | Disclaimer | Review Process | References
Supporting someone with autism in the ER means translating between two worlds – what you know about your person and what medical staff need to understand. You know their behaviors aren’t them “being difficult.” But how do you communicate that when everyone is rushed?
Below are tips to help you, such as what to tell staff when your person is overloaded, accommodations you might request, and what to do if staff doesn’t understand.
Do you have autism? Check out our guide Emergency Room: Autism Guide
On This Page:
My Person Is Overloaded
Tell a Staff Member
- [Their name] is having autism related overload.
- They are overwhelmed by the environment. They are not being difficult.
Share What You Know
- They usually [describe what happens – gets quiet/rocks/needs space]
- They respond well to [what usually helps – quiet space/dim lights/stimming]
Ask for
- Somewhere quiet – the bathroom is a good option if in the waiting room or a hallway bed. Tell staff so they know where you are. There may be conditions where going to the bathroom isn’t safe.
- Extra time – Is it possible for us to get a five minute break?
🚨 Important to Know
Staff may need to act quickly if your loved one is very sick. They may need to restrain them or give them medicine. When you’re able to talk to someone, you can ask why something is necessary.
What to Expect
Below are some phrases that can be helpful. These are to get you started. Use whatever words are best for you. To learn more about what to expect visit your Emergency Room Guide
Tell staff: They have autism and may need accommodations.
A better place to wait: Where’s the quietest place we can wait?
Tell triage (even if you told check-in): They have autism and may need accommodations
Warning before being touched: Can you let us know what you’re going to do before touching them?
Explain how they display symptoms: They get very quiet and stare at their phone when they are in a lot of pain
Using sunglasses, headphones, earplugs, etc. (even if you told them at check-in): They’re using earplugs for sensory reasons
✷ Some ERs have earplugs. You can ask if they have some you can have.
Ask for a quieter place: Remind staff that they have a processing disorder and are overwhelmed. Ask if there is a quieter place to wait. Or if there is a single person room.
If they need a break: Ask staff if there is a single person bathroom nearby. You can take a break there.
✷ If you can leave your loved one or friend – many hospitals have gift shope. You may be able to buy earplugs or sunglasses there.
What’s going to happen: Can you explain the steps of the test before starting?
Ask about breaks: Can they take breaks at any point? How should they tell you?
Support tools: Can they watch something on their phone?
Tell them about their autism (even if you’ve told everyone else): They have autism. They’re very quiet right now, because they’re in pain.
Ask for things that would help: Can you tell us before you touch them?
If an adult, explain how you’re helping: I’m helping explain what’s wrong, because they’re overloaded.
✷ Make sure that the person with autism can tell you when they want to take over the discussion. This could be tapping you or squeezing your hand. Then you can help by finding out what they want to communicate.
Knowing what to expect: Can you explain each step?
Asking for a break: Can we take a one minute break?
Explaining stimming: This is how they deal with feeling sick and medical procedures.
Need more time: Can you give us some time and then come back for questions?
Help understanding: Can you explain that in simpler terms?
Communication Support
These scripts are here to get you started. They are created by doctors who would want a patient to tell them these concerns. You don’t need to use these exact words. They’re just example and here if you need them. The most important thing is communicating what you need.
Environment
- Is it possible wait somewhere quieter?
- Could we dim some of these lights?
- Would it be possible to have fewer people in the room?
Communication
- They need extra time to process questions
- Could you write down the important information?
- They understand better when instructions are broken into steps
Procedures
- Could you explain what you’re doing first?
- They need warning before you touch them
- Showing them the medical tools first really helps
Repetitive Movements (Stimming)
- They need to move to cope with stress. That’s normal for them
- These movements help them regulate. Please don’t stop them unless medically necessary
Communication
- They process information differently and may need extra time
- Give them a few minutes and they may be able to respond
- They communicate better when [there’s less stimulation/you use written questions/they’re given more time]
- This is how they communicate when overwhelmed
Avoiding Eye Contact
- They’re listening even though they’re not making eye contact
- That’s normal for them. It doesn’t mean they’re not paying attention
Seeming “Difficult”
- They’re not being difficult. They’re overwhelmed
- This is how their brain responds to stress
- They want to cooperate but need extra time
Helping Them Be Heard
- They might be able to show you rather than tell you
- Give them extra time to think about your question
When You’re Not Sure
- I’m not sure about that, but I can tell you what I’ve noticed…
- I don’t know their exact medical history, but they usually [share what you do know]
Help Understanding
- I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Can you explain that again?
- Could you explain that in simpler terms?
How They Show Pain
- They don’t show pain in typical ways
- When they’re in pain, they usually [describe what you’ve seen – get quieter/more agitated/rock more]
- They might not be able to point to where it hurts
Describing Symptoms
- They’ve been [describe behavior changes you’ve noticed]
- This is different from their normal behavior
- They can’t tell you directly, but I’ve noticed [specific changes]
If Staff Doesn't Seem to Understand
Sometimes ER staff won’t know much about autism. Here are a couple ways to approach communication challenges. We included examples, so you can see these tools can be used.
Try Focusing on
Your Concerns
- I’m concerned you’re misunderstanding how sick they are. They’re quiet because they’re overloaded and in pain.
- I’m concerned it’s hard to tell how much pain they’re in. They shut down when it’s really bad.
What Makes You Uncomfortable
- I’m uncomfortable with going home, because they seem to be getting worse. When we got here they had only thrown up once. But now they have a lot of stomach pain.
If You Are Worried about Their Safety
- I’m worried about their safety, because they can’t walk to the bathroom now.
- I think it’s a safety concern that their autism symptoms are the focus and not what brought us in
If You Need More Help
- Ask to speak to the charge nurse (the nurse who is managing that part of the hospital)
- See if a social worker or patient advocate is available
Supporting Yourself
Basic Needs
- Ask staff for water/snacks or directions to cafeteria
- For bathroom breaks: “Could someone stay with them while I step out?”
- If possible, call someone to come help so you can take breaks
If You're Overwhelmed
- It’s okay to ask for a break for yourself too
- You can tell staff you’re overwhelmed and if there are things that would help you
What to Read Next
Resources We Used
Clinical experience from multiple physicians
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