Doctor visits are short. Many people feel rushed or unheard. You might leave and realize you forgot something important. Or your question wasn’t answered.
One way to make sure your concerns are heard is to share them before or at the beginning of your appointment. This preparation takes some mental effort, but you can do this in as little as 5 minutes. We’ll walk you through it and show you ways to share with your care team. All you need is a blank piece of paper or our worksheet.
On This Page:
Why This Helps
Your healthcare provider might forget to ask what you want to discuss. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t interested. In fact, sharing your concerns before or at the beginning of your appointment helps your provider know what’s going on and not miss anything.
It’s normal if this feels scary. When I first tried this, I felt intimidated too. But you and I know our bodies and lives best. Sharing what’s going on helps us work with our provider, and that leads to better care.
What You'll Need
- Paper or our worksheet
- Pen
Brainstorm Your Concerns
Write down anything you want to talk about. There’s no wrong answer.
Having trouble getting started? Look through these topics to help remind you:
- New problem
- Old problem (not getting better, you need something explained, etc.)
- Medicines (side effects, cost, stopped taking, need a refill, questions, etc.)
- Need something specific (referral, form filled out, etc.)
- Stress at home or work (caregiving, family concerns, money, etc.)
- Personal concern (feeling anxious or depressed, alcohol use, safety, etc.)
If something’s on your mind that’s not on this list, still write it down.
Pick Your Most Important Concerns and Add Details
Look at your list. What matters most to you right now? Put those at the top. Aim for 4 or less.
Don’t worry about picking the “right” ones. Just focus on what matters most to you. Your provider will see the full list and can let you know if something needs attention.
For your top concerns, add a few details. For example, if your worried about your medicine, why? Did you stop taking it, have trouble affording it, something else?
For a new problem or symptom, write down:
- When did it start?
- What makes it better or worse?
Some concerns won’t need details. For example, a prescription refill doesn’t need much explanation.
Share It With Your Care Team
Sharing your list helps your provider. They don’t know what’s happened since your last appointment and may not know what’s most important to you. When you tell them upfront, they can prioritize better and avoid missing something that matters.
You can send your list ahead of time or share it when your appointment starts.
Send it ahead of time
Take a photo of your list and send it through your patient portal. If you typed it out, you can paste it into your message. Still bring a copy to your appointment so you have it with you.
Share it at the beginning of your appointment
Tell the medical assistant you have a list for your provider. They may want to take it to show them before they come in. You can ask them to bring it back so you have it to look at during your visit.
Not sure what to say?
If this is how you’d like your provider to use your list, try to let them know:
- You wrote down what you want to address today
- You’d like them to look through all your concerns and let you know if any need to be addressed sooner
- You’d like to make a plan for anything you can’t cover today
Don’t worry if you forget one or all of these points! Explaining what you’re hoping for helps make sure you’re on the same page. But it’s not necessary. Even if you just give them your concerns, your provider should look through them and help you decide what to focus on. If you can’t get to everything, the usual next step is making a plan to cover the rest.
If you feel nervous, sending it on your portal can help. I do this because I often forget things in person.
Portal Message Example:
Hi,
Here are my concerns for my appointment. The first few are my top priorities. Can you look at the full list? There may be something that’s more important than I realize.
I understand we might not get to everything. Can we make a plan for anything we don’t get to?
Thank you
In Person Example:
You can say this to the medical assistant, your provider, or both. Use whatever words feel natural to you.
“I brought a list of my concerns. The first few are my top priorities. I’d like to make sure the full list gets looked at in case something is more important than I realize. Can we make a plan for anything we don’t cover today?”
If Things Don't Go as Planned
You may do everything right, and it still doesn’t go well. That doesn’t mean you did something wrong. Sharing your concerns is reasonable. Bringing a list is reasonable. Wanting to make a plan is reasonable. In fact, this is how doctors are trained to start visits. You’re not asking for something unusual.
Being dismissed or unheard can be painful. It’s okay to feel frustrated, discouraged, or hurt. You don’t have to try again or push harder. Good communication takes two people. It doesn’t all rest on you.
If this provider isn’t a good fit, finding someone new might be your best option. We know that’s not always easy or possible. If you want to try, two of the easiest strategies are finding another provider in the same hospital system or contacting your insurance to see who’s covered.
If you want to try again during the appointment
You don’t have to. But if you feel up for it, here are some options:
- Bring it back to your list: “Before we finish, I want to make sure we covered what I wrote down.”
- Ask for a plan: “I understand we’re short on time. Can we schedule a follow-up for the rest?”
- Ask for their reasoning: “Can you help me understand why you’re recommending this?”
If you want to read more about navigating difficult situations
- Getting Your Doctor’s Attention — Phrases to help when your doctor seems rushed
- Speaking Up During Your Visit — How to bring up hard topics and ask for what you need
