Bringing Up Hard Topics
Author: Dr. Vrolijk | Updated: August 23, 2025 | Disclaimer | Review Process | References
You’re not alone if talking about certain health topics feels hard. Many people avoid getting help because they don’t know how to start these conversations or fear being judged.
Below are things you can do to start the conversation and get the information you need. This page also has example scripts for common situations like embarrassing symptoms or financial concerns.
On This Page:
Why This Happens
Some health topics feel embarrassing, scary, or hard to bring up. You might worry about being judged, or you might not know how to start talking about sensitive issues. Or you may have had a bad experience in the past.
Ideally, you have a provider who you trust. In this case, the strategies below might help you start the conversation.
If you are seeing a new provider, you will probably need to take the risk in order to get the help you need. You can start by being brief and see how they react. If you feel comfortable, you can share more details. The tips below are written to help in this situation as well.
What You Can Do
These are example phrases to help you communicate with your healthcare team. Use your own words – the important thing is getting your message across clearly.
Ask for Privacy (If Needed)
“Can we talk privately about this? Is there a room where we can talk?”
Privacy is a very reasonable request. This is true even if you’re in a hallway bed in the emergency room. If they ask why, you can tell them you want to discuss sensitive health information.
Tell Them This Is Hard
“I have something that’s hard for me to discuss. But I need help with it.”
This lets them know to listen closely and help you talk about a difficult topic. Healthcare providers can sometimes forget that certain topics are hard for people to discuss.
Start with the Basics
“I am worried about how sad I’ve been feeling” or “My butt hurts when I poop”
Sharing one sentence about your concern is the hardest step. Don’t worry about using medical words or saying it right. Your provider should be able to help by asking questions. If you’re worried about being judged, you can see how they respond before sharing more.
Gather Information
“Can you start by talking through what this might mean?”
This lets them guide the conversation and provide information. You can gather information before sharing everything. This might help you understand the benefits of sharing more.
Script Examples
This is hard for me to talk about, but I think I need help with something. I’ve been feeling sad and tired for weeks. Can you help me understand what might cause this?
Can we talk just the two of us about this? I have something I’m uncomfortable talking about. (Once alone) I’ve been having pain during sex, and I’ve never had this before. Is this something you can help me with?
Can you tell me what you would do if someone wants to drink less?
I have something embarrassing to discuss, but I think it might be important. I’ve been having really bad gas and stomach pain. Is this something you can help me with?
I’m worried I can’t afford this treatment you’re recommending. What are my options if cost is a problem?
What to Read Next
All of Our Conversation Tools
Resources We Used
Clinical experience from multiple physicians
Adriani PA, Hino P, Taminato M, Okuno MFP, Santos OV, Fernandes H. Non-violent communication as a technology in interpersonal relationships in health work: a scoping review. BMC Health Serv Res. 2024;24(1):289. doi:10.1186/s12913-024-10753-2
Altmiller G. Teaching clinical nurse specialist students to resolve conflict: strategies that promote effective communication and teamwork. Clinical Nurse Specialist. 2011;25(5):260-262.
Ha JF, Longnecker N. Doctor-patient communication: a review. Ochsner journal. 2010;10(1):38-43.
Jagosh J, Boudreau JD, Steinert Y, MacDonald ME, Ingram L. The importance of physician listening from the patients’ perspective: Enhancing diagnosis, healing, and the doctor–patient relationship. Patient education and counseling. 2011;85(3):369-374.
Lang F, Floyd MR, Beine KL. Clues to patients’ explanations and concerns about their illnesses: A call for active listening. Archives of family medicine. 2000;9(3):222.
Rosenberg MB, Chopra D. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships. PuddleDancer Press; 2015.
Stewart MA. Effective physician-patient communication and health outcomes: a review. CMAJ: Canadian medical association journal. 1995;152(9):1423.
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